Thursday, 2 August 2018

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Summary

In this summary, you get the main takeaways from Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence people. You can go and grab these books on -

Amazon India - How To Win Friends and Influence people
Amazon US - How To Win Friends and Influence people

You can also get two audiobooks on Audible for free with a 30-day-trial using this link :

Here is what I learnt from How To Win Friends and Influence People :

1) Talk about them - not yourself.

Image Source : Huffington Post

Everyone loves themselves and mostly we lose the chance of warming up to someone by talking about ourselves. Instead, make sure you ask them about their life, their interests and be a good listener. They will start liking you immediately!

2) Never Criticise.

Remember Thumper from Bambi? 'If you can't say anything good, say nothing at all.' Constructive criticism is fine, but try not to go overboard because the negativity you spread often comes back to you. To win friends and influence people, you need to understand that human nature is made in a way that he hates being criticised. If you want to make friends , you should stay clear of this path. Instead....

3) Appreciate.

Image Source :
Appreciate others genuinely, and they will grow an admiration for you. Never go with flattery as it is quite easy to detect and feels extremely annoying. Let people know what qualities or attributes you admire in them and would even want for yourself.

4) Remember to Use their Name.

Regardless of our good old man Shakespeare saying -
'What lies in a name?' we all know that names are IMPORTANT. That's exactly why if anyone writes my name Helly as Belly I get pissed off! If you want to win friends, firstly remember their name from the first time you meet them and casually use their name in conversation.

5) Remember to smile !
Image Source : Freepik

A Smile is the best ornament you can wear. With a smile you express a satisfaction in meeting them and they will feel good about themselves.

6) Talk About Their Interests.

It is easy to win friends and influence people if you show an interest in knowing and sharing things that they are passionate about.

7) Avoid Arguments Completely

Why go down a road where nothing can be right? Even when you win an argument, you lose the other person's admiration.

8) Make Them Say YES

 If you want to influence someone into saying yes, firstly be very nice and clear about your objectives. Then you can move on and ask them certain questions to which they will say 'YES'. Once they do, chances are that they will say Yes to your ultimate proposal as well.

9) Admit your mistakes.

There is no point in obstinately trying to prove a point if you already know you are wrong. Hence, accept your mistakes quickly and apologise and move on !

10) Challenge them.

Certain goals, certain objectives can be thrown as challenges and human nature, being competitive as it is, will make them try to rise to the position you expect of them.

So these were the most influential lessons that I have learnt from How To Win Friends and Influence people. Let me know about yours in the comment section below!